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Title: Cookie Willow Monster
Author: psimetis
E-mail: psimetis@hotmail.com
Spoilers: None, Master Willow Altverse
Rating: G
Pairing: vampireW/T
Disclaimer: All characters of BtVS and its universe are all rights and owned
by Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. This is a fan to fan appreciative effort made
for absolutely no profit.
Characters: Master Vampire Willow, Kitten, Drusilla, gingerbread people
Author’s note: This is set after events in MASTER WILLOW: Chapter 8.
* * *
In a sleepy Sunnydale mansion on sunny, upscale Crawford street, kitchen curtains
were drawn against the afternoon sun. Tara, resident witch and Sunnydale Master’s
Pet (an occupational position she’s rather too modest to put on her resume,
anytime soon), was busy baking cookies.
“Oh!” Willow sniffed, coming inquisitively into the kitchen. The Master
of Sunnydale was fresh from her bath and (thankfully), fully dressed. “Baking!
Cookie baking! Cookie, ginger...ginger snaps baking?” she further inquired,
easily identifying the spicy scent.
“Better,” Tara replied with a smile, pulling a fresh tray of hot cookies
from the oven. “Gingerbread men!”
“Oooo,” Willow appreciated, eyeing the little, perfectly shaped and
baked men--mostly women actually. Unless Kitten’s gingerbread male cookies
wore skirts too.
Willow picked one up--from the cooling rack--and tilted the cookie to look up
its skirt. Not that she could, since the girl cookie was flat.
Tara, taking off her oven mitten, had to do a double take. Her vampire didn’t
just try to look up the cookie’s skirt, did she?
“Um,” Tara commented, as Willow put the cookie neatly back in its
cooling spot and then looked curiously at the kitchen island. It was laid out
with icing bags and wax paper. “You, you can help decorate them, if you
like. Here.” And she urged her vampire to sit at the island and put an
icing bag in her pale hand. She slid a cookie before Willow. “Just squeeze
a little, like that,” she gently guided with her hand over Willow’s.
“And make....little eyes...and a mouth...”
“Buttons,” Willow grinned, finding herself delighted by the decorating
she was sharing with Kitten. She gave the icing bag just the slightest squeeze--mindful
of her vampiric strength--and made a white icing button on her cookie’s
chest front.
“Yes,” Tara smiled, glad to see that a master vampire like Willow
didn’t mind decorating cookies. “Just like that.” She turned
back to the kitchen counter to place more cookies on the cooling rack.
Willow finished off her gingerbread man with a flourish, having adorned him
with a big belt buckle (like Angelus, she thought), and itty bitty fangs.
Tara passed by and peered appreciatively at Willow’s handiwork.
“You should make more like that,” she suggested, as she turned her
attention back to the counter. “I think it looks really cu--”
“RAR RR RAR,” she heard suddenly behind her, and Tara stiffened in
surprise, thinking that it sound alot like--
--A muppet Willow cookie monster, Tara thought when she hurriedly turned around.
With fresh gingerbread crumbs all over her silk shirt front and face. The red
haired vampire looked as surprised as her witch.
“I had this desire to kill him,” Willow merely said, after she swallowed
the large amount of gingerbread in her mouth.
“O,” Tara stammered. “O-Oh. Okay. Would...would you like another
one?”
“Yes,” Willow stated adamantly. “A girl cookie. I’ll make
her look like you!”
Tara quietly slid the vampire a female shaped cookie. She warily watched as
Willow happily took her icing bag and gave the gingerbread ‘Kitten’
cookie (as the vampire christened it), big eyes, and a big (lopsided) smile,
and two big....
That cookie, Tara thought to herself. Was definitely going to get Willow-devoured.
Because Tara was sure as heck not taking it to her Wicca group’s bake sale.
“RAR RR RAR,” Willow ate loudly, the ‘Kitten’ cookie bits
now flying.
“LITTLE BROWN MEN!!” Drusilla suddenly screamed, appearing out of
nowhere with a broom in one hand and giving Tara a heart attack. The elder vampiress
pointed dramatically at her arch nemeses, the hapless gingerbread men, her eyes
wild and practically all white. “LITTLE BROWN MEN AND THEIR WOMEN!!”
The next day, Tara showed up at her Wicca group’s bake sale with gingerbread
circles, stars, and moons instead of little men and women.
“Tara,” Cassiopeia, the Wicca group leader, addressed. She sniffed
disapprovingly as she studied the blonde witch’s tray. “You were supposed
to bring character shaped gingerbread.”
“I, I know,” Tara apologized. “But. These have faces too,”
she helpfully pointed out, picking up a round gingerbread with a smiley face.
It had fangs.
“The kids that live in your house,” Cassiopeia remarked, knowing nothing
about Tara’s real home situation of course. “Are really weird.”
the end!